I hate uncertainty.
Funny enough, I enjoy surprises. But, surprises make me anxious. And that’s a special exception when it comes to uncertainty.
If there’s a plan, I want to know where it is, what time it’s at and who’s going to be there. If I plan a trip, I need color-coded spreadsheets and itineraries. Specific dates and times are everything,
I’m a bit type A in the sense that I love having a plan, following the plan, and being done with it. That being said, I can appreciate spontaneity — but nine times out of 10, I’m going to choose structure. I am someone who craves stability and certainty.
In life, especially post-grad life, so much is uncertain! Jobs, living situations, finances, and even where you could be in a month are somewhat up in the air.
Needless to say, I haven’t been handling it incredibly well.
But, I have discovered some strategies that are gradually helping me deal with uncertainty Here are some tips for dealing with uncertainty without losing your mind.
1. Map out all of the best, worst, and neutral outcomes.
Oftentimes the worst thing that can happen isn’t nearly as bad as you’d thought. Come up with logical solutions to as many of these as possible.
Like, “If X happens, I can do A, B, and C.” But, “If Y ends up happening, I can do plan D!”
It’s sort of a way of crafting hypothetical backup plans. You might not use any of them, but it can be relaxing to know you have choices and next steps you can take regardless of what happens next.
2. Consider the present moment.
I know a lot of people rave about gratitude journals, but I find they are more bothersome than they are gratitude-inducing. They also don’t feel productive enough for me.
Instead, while you’re doing something you love or talking to someone you appreciate, just try to take a moment to, well, be in that moment. Allow yourself to think, “This is such a great moment!” or “I love watching this show!” or “I’m so lucky to have a friend like this,” without turning it into a series of “But what if I were to lose this?” questions.
It can be as simple as appreciating your favorite song when it plays on the radio.
Namely, when you’re feeling bliss and gratitude, take a minute to feel it instead of worrying about what comes next. It’s hard to do, but sometimes reminding yourself to do it can be worth your while.
3. Reflect on past moments where uncertainty was a good thing, or it was something worth overcoming.
Chances are, you’ve dealt with a lot of uncertainty in life. You’ve made a lot of choices and traveled roads with unknown destinations.
And look where you are now! In some cases, the uncertainty has probably led you to somewhere wonderful.
When uncertainty feels overwhelming, try to pinpoint times when it was a great thing. Or when you didn’t need to worry about what you didn’t know nearly as much as you’d thought.
Sometimes, I think back to all the summers when my internship situation was uncertain — I still had an internship every summer. Or, I think of a time I told my crush I liked them and they said they liked me, too. Maybe even the time I went on a date with someone and learned from it. I overcame uncertainty and found success or a funny story for later.
When I’m feeling stressed about the things I don’t know, I think back to so many times where my uncertainty had almost pushed me toward saying no, and times I was glad I’d said “yes” despite not knowing what the outcome would be.
4. Ask yourself, “Why do I need to know?”
If it’s in order to prepare, prepare the best you can for any outcome. This doesn’t need to get deeply philosophical, it can be as simple as seeking a logical reason you need to know.
If it’s because you’re anxious, try to figure out why you’re anxious. Are you uncertain about the people who could show up? How something might impact your finances? Get to the root — it typically runs deeper than just uncertainty.
“I need to know the travel plan so I know what to pack!” or “I need to know who’ll be at the party because if x and y are there, I don’t want to be there.”
Sometimes, there are logical reasons. Other times, you need to decide if the unknown is more powerful than what you know combined with potential positive outcomes.
If it’s because not knowing something has wronged you in the past, try to reflect on #3. Think back to times when uncertainty was a positive thing in your life.
5. Talk to yourself out loud.
This sounds a bit nutty, but it’s not a bad thing. When you have a moment in the shower or during your morning routine, talk over what you’re uncertain about.
TBH, sometimes I pretend I’m a YouTuber filming a super personal sit-down vlog.
Ponder the potential outcomes. “Well, if this ends up happening, I could probably do this. Or, if this happens, I might do this.”
Truthfully, talking out loud can make some things feel a lot smaller and less worrisome than they really are. Give it a chance sometime. Or, you can talk to someone else. Personally, when I’m dealing with uncertainty, I find I prefer processing things myself first because I understand exactly what I’m thinking about.
6. Focus on the factors you are certain about.
You can’t know everything, but try to embrace the things you know for sure. Even if it’s not much, it can be calming to reflect on the few things you know for sure about an upcoming situation or period in life.
While you may not know what job you’ll have next, you know for sure that you can do freelance work while you search.
While you may not know who’ll be at the party, you know two people who are definitely going and you know which time it begins.
Emphasizing what you know can sometimes be a bit calming.
Read More: How to be more easygoing
