This post has been on my list of ideas for a month, but I’d been putting it off. Once I saw Dana from The Wonder Forest‘s post about this, I decided to finally write this up. Her blog is gorgeous BTW, I’m definitely a fan.
Anyways, I’m a pretty inept person when it comes to a lot of basic things. I can paint my nails like an ambidextrous person and wing my eyeliner like a professional, but when it comes to these things I simply cannot…
I can’t use a knife. I’m capable of cutting food (I’m not that inept!) but I’ve noticed that for some reason unbeknownst to me, I always flip the knife as I use it. Essentially, rather than cutting food with the sharp part of the knife, I end up accidentally using the dull side. This makes food cutting inefficient and this is some kind of subconscious habit I can’t seem to kick. Sigh.
I can’t put shoes back in boxes the correct way. It’s SO simple. You just put the shoe’s heel opposite of the other shoe and boom, they fit perfectly back in the box. I should be able to do it, knowing that tip right? Wrong. It takes me way too long to put shoes back in boxes, I can’t seem to comprehend how to put shoes in boxes. Again, this is such a ridiculous little thing to not be able to do but I, for some reason, cannot competently put shoes back in boxes.
I can’t pour things into other things. Whenever I try to pour my mug of coffee into my travel tumbler, coffee gets EVERYWHERE. If I try to pour a pitcher into a cup, it manages to always spill and drip. Some people are amazing and pouring things into things (I’m sure there’s a fancier and more educated term for that) but I can’t do it.
I can’t apply false eyelashes. I’ve tried it a few times and they always seem to not stay on, look really wonky or begin to fall off after four minutes. The only reason I paid to get my prom make-up done and did not do it myself was because I could not apply falsies and I just needed them for prom.
I can’t sign my name properly. My signature changes on a weekly basis. Sometimes they don’t look remotely similar. This is a huge problem because one’s signature is really important for the majority of important life things. My name is AWFUL to sign. My name has way too many capital letters and pauses between letters, it’s impossible to make it pretty. Whenever I’m asked to sign something it looks either illegible or too practiced. I need to work on picking one signature and sticking with it.
So, those are some things I can’t do. Those are just a few of MANY, many things. I can do math and a mean neutral smoky eye but I’m incapable of a lot of the basics. Anyway.
OOH. Bonus thing I can’t do–I can’t seem to stop using a million exclamation points when I send e-mails. I was looking over an e-mail to my boss the other day and realized every! sentence! had an exclamation point! Someone help me.
What are some things you simply cannot do?
