It’s a Thursday night and nothing in the world sounds more appealing than putting pajamas on and lying in your bed to watch re-runs of Friends. It’s Friday night and nothing sounds as awful as sitting in to write your Psych paper but it’s due tomorrow morning and you simply have to get it done. Meanwhile, social excursions and hangouts galore are happening around you. It seems like everyone except you is doing something exciting or being social.
Sometimes you just want or need to stay in and the sounds and sights of everyone else is distracting and causes a sinking feeling that you’re missing out. In college, there’s a definite pressure to be constantly socializing and doing something. For me, this was one of the hardest things to deal with during freshman year. How can you spend time alone doing little to nothing when there are people everywhere?
FOMO (fear of missing out) in college was something that always ate away at me and, while it still does, I’ve learned to focus on the roots of it and figure out methods to end it or make it less intense. Now, I’m going to share them with you, because you won’t wanna miss out on this haha, see what I did there? Missing out? Yeah. Anyway.
1. Get introspective: What is causing your FOMO?
Really sit and think about this one. This could be something literal, like hearing your neighbors drinking and playing music or something a bit more profound, like feeling you’re wasting your college experience. Note some of the things that really bring out that FOMO and note why all of these things bother you.
When you start to feel that FOMO, get to the root of why it’s bothering you and get rational. What are you really so afraid of missing out on? Is anything that exciting or groundbreaking actually occurring while you’re on the outskirts? Probably not.
2. If you want plans, create them.
If your FOMO is caused by not having plans while other do, make your own plans. Rapunzel waited in a tower to be saved and it took forever. Don’t be waiting in that tower for some knight in shining Michael Kors to invite you to hang out. Make plans. Reach out. The worst that could happen is the person has other plans or can’t make it. The best that could happen? You’ve got plans. Awesome. These plans don’t even need to be intricate–simply having someone over to watch television with or bake cookies with is always great.
That being said, don’t overwhelm yourself with plans because it’s college and you have to make memories. Not every moment of your life needs to be Polaroid-worthy. Enjoy the good moments but also realize everyone requires downtime. Sometimes, like your iPhone, you just have to recharge.
3. Remember that things are not as they seem.
You might feel pressure to say yes to every invite and attend all social gatherings because you don’t want to miss out on any fun. This is an extreme remedy to FOMO–overexerting yourself. Snapchat stories can be deceiving. Everyone’s determined to make their life look like it’s so much fun, but you’re probably tricking yourself into thinking you’re missing out on more fun than is actually happening.
Be rational. Are you missing much at Brad’s frat party? Probably not. If you stay in for one night, will the world stop spinning? It won’t.
4. Do nothing with someone.
This is my favorite remedy for FOMO because I’m someone who enjoys being with other people. For me, being alone ignites the FOMO in my mind and puts me on edge. If you’re with your friend or roommate, in the same room or at the same library table, there is comfort to be found. You’re not the only one not being social and going wild and sometimes physical reminders can help. Plus, even if you’re both simply doing work or watching Netflix together, you can still create plenty of fun memories. Some of my best college memories sparked from doing absolutely nothing with someone else.
5. Go somewhere else.
If the sounds of everyone pre-gaming is getting to you, walk to a different part of campus. Visit the library. Escape by turning your volume up and closing the curtains. Out of sight and out of mind can sometimes push FOMO to the back burner. If you’re so invested in your own task, you’ll probably forget about everything else.
If you, however, are not invested in a task and are left bored, simply giving into FOMO, call home. Call a friend. Put on a movie you love. Give yourself things that make you happy. If you’re happy, you’re happy–there’s nothing to be missing out on.
4. Avoid Snapchat and Instagram like the plague.
If you’re feeling awful, never go on social media. Honestly, who hasn’t told you this? It’s so true. You’re in a crap mood watching highlight reels of everyone else and it’s bound to make you feel like you’re missing out on something that might not even really exist.
5. Embrace your choices and downtime.
The happiness of others should not negate your own and their choices on how to spend their time should not influence yours. So what if you’re choosing a movie over a night out? Embrace your decisions. Be grateful that you can spend time in your bed watching your favorite show.
Feel blessed for being warm and indoors writing your paper instead of drinking beer in a crowded frat party somewhere. While what you’re going might not always feel like the greatest, most fun thing, it doesn’t help to find some positives in a negative.
Or, if you’re not much of an optimist, be a realist. You missed out because you were not in the mindset for a party or you had a paper to do or didn’t make plans. It’s not a negative thing, it’s a rational thing.
6. Remember you’re not the only one.
You’re not special–you’re not the only college kid paranoid about missing out on something. This isn’t always a comfort, but I find it to be. If you surround yourself with people who are over the fear of missing out, it helps. Oftentimes having a wise friend who no longer focuses on FOMO in college can be a positive influence.
7. Focus on yourself.
Like I said, focus on your task at hand. What others are doing does not impact you at that very moment. Put your phone on silent, dive into whatever task you’d like and focus on yourself.
How do you deal with FOMO in college?
